Day 7 - Baggage Dump

TODAY’S NUDGE: Dump Your Mental & Emotional Purse all over the table that is your blog. Don’t sort it. Don’t apologize for any of it. Just take an inventory, in list form, and let the old tissues & twenty year old mints fall where they may.

This is what I want to do with my brain sometimes!  Especially lately.  I honestly went to bed last night thinking I need to a brain dump post because everything is so jumbled in there.  And then I get up this morning and this is the prompt in my email.  The problem is, forming complete thoughts and transferring that into words has been difficult lately.

• The brain fog, forgetfulness, seems to be a constant lately.  The other day, I walked from the counter to the freezer, 10 steps maybe?  And I forgot what I was going in it for.  I walk into a room and forget why.  I start a conversation and lose my train of thought.  It's frustrating.
• The interrupted sleep patterns.  Or even if I sleep I walk up tired.  Napping doesn't help, I only feel even worse after one.
• The constant pain in my neck, shoulders, hips, lower  back.  The pain in my collar bone area that comes and goes, but hurts like hell when I have it.  The back and hip pain that travels down my legs.  The mid back pain that makes it difficult to wash dishes or stand at the stove to cook. The lower leg and foot cramps that wake me up in the middle of the night.  Tylenol and Ibuprofen don't help, they don't even touch the pain.  The last doctor visit, he did Xrays, noted my chart with chronic pain, suggested an MRI and was talking about surgery.  I have no insurance and can't afford an MRI, and even the sliding scale rate is out my league.  So I just deal with it best I can.
• My bad bad habit of procrastination.  My whole on the wagon off the wagon on again with creativity.  Where I make headway in breaking habits, but then fall right back into them.  I want to be more consistent!  Not consistently procrastinating!
• I'm tired of being afraid of everything, including my own shadow sometimes.  I wasn't the bravest child, but I don't remember being such scaredy cat either.  
• When I make goals, I want to actually reach them.  Not half assed, but full achieve them.

Some of this stuff I could add to this I already talked about in previous posts.  So I really don't want to repeat them.  OH almost forgot...one really big one.....boundaries!  Why do people hear you say boundaries, please don't cross them and they take it as a challenge.  Drives me fucking crazy!

Okay, now I think maybe that's it.  I'm sure there's some things I'm forgetting but this is a good dump for now.