I went to see the advocate from the shelter today. Her official title is "Legal Advocate". I left her office feeling like a child told to sit at the table until she finished all her peas.
I felt no connection with this woman at all, other than I felt like she was judging me. She asked me what was going on, so I tried to explain to her. She was like no...I don't want to know about past stuff how about more recent. So I told her that...and she was all 'mmhmmm mmhmmm' 'yes what you are saying all constitutes abuse'. Then she says some thing like 'I'm not getting all "Oh my goodness" about it because I hear stories like this 10 times a day, you're not telling me anything new.' I asked well what are my options. I can't take it anymore, I have no support system here, no friends no family...I have no job, no money...I need help what can I do?
She said she can't advise me on things like that, she's only allowed to file Temporary Orders of Protection. I'm sorry you work at a crisis center and the only thing you can tell me is that if I need a TPO you can file it. She went on to tell me she only studied Criminal Law so she's not allowed to do anything else. She kept taking calls from another client while I was there, and to be honest I don't feel she handled that very well either.
In the end she handed me a sheet of paper with names and numbers to lawyers, Legal Services, Legal Aid, and a referral service that has a 30 minute free consult. And she told me IF I use it, I better have all my questions ready other wise I might end up wasting my 30 minutes on 2 questions. I asked her well what sort of questions should I ask...got the can't answer that reply.
She also gave me paper with the name and number to the psychologist they use. Then she says well you probably don't really need to call her, you already know it's abuse.
She told me I couldn't or shouldn't leave until I had a lawyer take my case and it was filed and only AFTER they tell me it's okay to leave the state so I can be near my support system. She said if I leave, the Ogre can cite abandonment, say I'm unfit, etc. And then she was like you really don't want those kinds of charges against you, do you? So I said but if I went to a shelter he can't do that, she was like yea true.
I kept trying to find out what my options were, short of going to the shelter. She didn't give me any. Just told me to call the numbers on the list. And when they say I can leave then come in or call and see if they can help me get out to my Beloved and his family. Then before she sends me on my way (because now she has to go meet a judge she says) she tells me "Well I don't know what your belief in god is. But have you consider that maybe he is testing you to see how strong your faith is? Everything happens for a reason, and maybe he is testing you to see if you will give up on yourself. And if you give up on yourself, then god will give up on you."
I was stunned. Lucky I'm not christian anymore. But holy shit if I was...I mean wtf?! How can you tell somebody their abuse is a test from god and basically saying suck it up. If you want out you're on your own I gave you lawyer numbers you do the rest. I left feeling like I kicked in the gut. I asked for help and got slapped in the face.
I will attempt to see the girl I originally spoke to on the phone next week. See if I can't get some better advice. If not, I don't know what to do next. My Beloved says we will get through this. To just forget about this chick, and pretend she didn't happen. To go back next week and see if Girl #1 can help me out.