Saturday, August 31, 2013

Thoughts and Things

It's the end of August, another month over and gone.  Four months left to the year.  And what have I to show for it?  A few new paintings, a few words written.  Nothing I would call significant.  I don't want to waste the next four months with mediocrity.  I want to do something with these remaining months of the year.   I really want to figure out a way to possibly do some work towards a degree.  This is something my Beloved and I will need to talk about to see what would be doable and find out what resources for funds are available to me (yes Mary, I'd LOVE more input from you on this). 

Today we went to a farmer's market in a small town called Emmett.  It was the first time I was at a farmer's market that I actually saw the fruits and vegetables so affordable.  I mean seriously...eggplant for 50 cents!  cukes for 25-50 cents!  Peaches the size of baseballs for about 1.50 a pound!  Most things were under two bucks.  The area was just so quaint.  I'd love to go back and check it out a little further one of these days.  The art gallery caught my eye, so I'm curious to see what it might hold.

Today is also the birthday of a girl that I was in high school with.  She would have been 44 today.  She died in June of 1984 from injuries she sustained in a motorcycle accident.  Even though we weren't close friends, I took it hard.  Actually for most of the school year, we weren't friends.  I was more the brunt of hers and the rest of the little clique's teasing.  But we had cosmetology together.  Somewhere around May, she suddenly started being nice to me.  Offering me advice about how to train my hair to feather back.  How to wear black eye liner.  I think she may have even styled my hair in class once or twice.  I was wary of the kindness but welcomed it too.  I felt like if she accepted me the others would leave me alone.  Then we had off for Memorial weekend, and that's when tragedy struck.  I would pass by her house almost every day that week to ask her mom how she was.  A week later, she was gone.  I don't know if anyone still thinks of her, or visits her grave.  But I've never forgotten the beautiful red haired girl full of life and gone too soon.

I guess part of it is thinking of her and the time she doesn't get to have that is really making me look at things like this.  I don't want to waste my time piddling about, letting things slip away.  It also reminds of the tarot reading I had 3 years ago.  She told me I would write books.  So why am I not doing it???  I think we know that answer, I have talked about it a few times in previous posts.  I also want to prove to myself that I can.  That my childhood dreams can be a reality.

On that note, tomorrow starts the 2 page a day challenge. 15 minutes to be more exact!  I plan to participate.  Key word is PLAN.   Then there's NaNo in November.  So the idea is to write everyday at least 2 pages.  Work in some art.   Talk with my Beloved and bounce ideas off Mom about this degree thing.  Figure out what I'd want to major in....English?  History?  Creative Writing (this one scares me)?  Liberal Arts with a focus on English?  I need to start living the life I want and deserve rather than just talk about it or complain that I don't have it.  I have the hardest part covered---a support system, people that encourage me.  So by not acting, I'm not just letting myself down but I'm letting them down too.  That needs to change.

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