Ever notice how sometimes it's hard to know the intent of someone's words when you read them instead of hear them? That's kind of how I am about one of the responses I got to my last post. My first thought was to come out swinging and rant back at the commenter. So, I took a couple days to settle my feathers.
Seeing as how my followers dropped by one, I can assume she meant it just how she said it. Should you read this I'm sorry if what I write offends you or if you got upset because I chose not to have him arrested for selling what I feel wasn't his right to sell.
If I knew when I had money what I know now, I probably wouldn't have left then either. But I didn't know how things would be 3-4 years later. But you know me and the kids were reeling from the death of my grandma who was a HUGE part of our lives. Even if I could have or would have left then, it probably would have sent them both over the edge. So even still back then if I had known that what he's doing is emotional abuse, I don't think I'd have left, not then.
And for the record, it's only been the last couple of years that I was even aware that it's emotional/psychological abuse. Grasping that reality in itself is rather difficult. There are days I still find it difficult to comprehend. Emotional abuse is subtle sometimes and difficult to prove, even the lawyer told me that.
You know maybe you're right, maybe I won't ever leave. I don't know what the future holds. It's sad that you think I'm writing my blog just to complain and that I enjoy complaining. I write here because it's an outlet that I can freely express what I'm thinking and feeling, so sorry you can't see that. If I was able to see a counselor I'd be telling them more or less the same things I write here. Would that be considered complaining as well?
If my posts have been coming off as complaining, to you my followers I apologize. I thought I was using my blog as a means of expressing how I felt and what was going on in my head. It was never my intent to offend anyone. It amazes me too that one person's comment has me considering deleting my blogs. Maybe I don't have a blog of substance after all.