Thursday, July 1, 2010

Juggling Isn't As Easy As He Thought It Would Be

So, it's the first of the month and we're broke... How the hell we're broke? I haven't got at damnedest clue. We've got more bills due in the next 5 days then there is money in the bank. And there's not even anything left over to buy gas or groceries. Luckily we don't need anything food wise right this second, but still...there's nothing left over.

"HE" thought, thinks "HE" can do a better job at making sure things are paid. "HE" controls all the finances now. I can't even pay a bill online without letting "HIM" know, nor can I go grocery shopping without "HIM" present since I'm not on the bank account and "HE" never put me back on. It seems "HE" firmly believes I'm the reason for the financial situation. So once the bankruptcy was final...I was never put back on the account. Yet, "HE" doesn't think that "HIS" daily $5-$8 lunches, or "HIS" at least every other day purchases of wine or a 6 pack is contributing to the mess. I figure on average, "HE" spends $40 a week on eating out when half the time there are perfectly good left overs "HE" can take for lunch.
And then factor in the $6 for a 6 pack here, or the $7 bottle of wine there (that's gone in a day or two)...and yea the shit adds up quick.

I learned at an early age...16, 18...something like that (thanks Mom) how to have to juggle money to make sure shit gets paid and still have money for food. Of course I didn't need gas money for a car back then either because A) no car/didn't drive (still don't) and B) public transportation or being able to walk to where I needed was awesome. (SHIT! I miss NY). But thanks to her and her lack of money skills...and her thought that well she raised me for 16 years so now I was supposed to take care of her mentality....I learned. And juggling finances is no easy feat...but "HE" still thinks "HE" can do better so....more power too "HIM".

The stress of it all is just too much on me. I can't take living like this, I can't take living with "HIM". I need to get outta here...soon. Well...I can wish anyway.


  1. Gosh, I feel so badly. I know you are feeling. Is there anyway you can get a part time job so that you could have some money of your own?

  2. I've applied to several places around here about every 90 days in past year. Everything from the bookstore, to Home Depot, the grocery stores...and not so much as a phone call to say kiss my ass. And then, even IF I got lucky and landed something...I have to rely on "HIM" to get me to and from. Which typically ends up with "HIM" bitching that "HE" has to drive me there and back. And then I'd be expected to turn over my money I'm sure...or at least pay things out of my personal account. Just to cover things and I'd never get that money back from "HIM". With "HIS" salary, we should NOT be in this position.

  3. get out of there...find a job/small apt...leave...go to the next town and try there...hate to tell someone that, but it sounds from your thoughts that you are very one should be that unhappy...