When People Expect More Than You Can Give

It really pains me to have to sit back and silently watch as
people take advantage of and put such demands on some one I care for.
This person already gives and gives and gives so much.
And yet for some people, it is not enough and they want, no they demand more from
this person. 

Having to sit here and bite my tongue as they say is really wearing me thin.
I think part of that is because I see myself letting others take advantage of me.
When I was not allowed to have boundaries.  Even now, I find it extremely
difficult to enforce my boundaries because I am so conditioned to not enforce them.

This person is expected to care for the other person's child whether they are sick
or injured or just plain exhausted.  It does not matter what the person might have going
on in their life. They are just supposed to arrange their life and their schedule around
this other person's demands.  And if they try to say they can't, the other person lays a
guilt trip so thick it's like you are wading knee deep in bullshit.

And then you have another person who comes and says they wish the person was
more like this other gal's mom because she takes her grandkid  for like three days a week,
including nights.

I mean if you choose to have a kid or many, is it not your responsibility to make sure
you can take care of them? And if you choose to work, is it not your responsibility to
make sure you have childcare and back up care if one falls through for some reason?

Is this how it is?
Is this the reality of things?
That people having kids have these unreasonable expectations
of their extended family. 

I mean, maybe I am just jaded or something.
When I had kids, I did it all alone.
Doctors appointments, shopping, caring for them.
I did not expect anyone to do anything for me or them.
Well except their father and apparently even that was unreasonable.
Because he worked you know. How dare I want him to help with his
off spring when he came home or on the weekend.

I never expected anyone to drop everything to go anywhere with me.
Or to do anything for me.
If I was sick or injured, I had to manage.

Maybe it is because I had no family around me, immediate or extended
when I had my kids.  Maybe it is because I grew up knowing there was no
expectation of someone else to take care of me.

My mother was A LOT of things.   And my mother fucked me royally.
But the one thing my mother did not do is expect anyone else to
take care of me.  She may have resented me and hated that I existed, but
still in her own way, she took care of me.  She might have been a sick
and twisted bitch, but she made sure I was taken care of and not pawned
off on the nearest family member. 
I think it was a matter of I do not want her, but no one else can have her either.

Seeing people unreasonable expect another to give and give until there is nothing
left and then expect them to give some more.  Seeing people give so much to
please other people and make them happy and as a result lose themselves and
are falling apart. It hurts. And the people doing the  taking do not care that the one they are
taking from is hurting or ill or lost.  They just take and take and take
because they feel like they are entitled to it.

And when asked do you not care how you making someone else feel with their
behavior. They say they do not care, it is how they are and people need to just
deal with it.  The whole yeah I am a bitch and I know and I do not care who
I am hurting attitude sucks and is fucking cruel.

All I can do is sit by and watch because it is not my battle.
I can listen when this person needs me to. I can offer words if they want me to.
But I can't stand up for them. They have to set those boundaries themselves.
They are not mine to set.

I know, I am not really one to talk.
I still have great difficulty setting and keeping my own boundaries.
I still struggle with that.  People make you feel guilty and say you are selfish for
setting boundaries and trying to stick to them.
But gods forbid you accidentally breach their boundaries, then all hell breaks loose.

I can go round and round on this with no solution.
So I think I will end my rant here.