It's That Time Of Year

It is that crazy time of year where people around the world participate in NaNoWriMo.  The event were new and seasoned authors write (or in some cases try to write) 50,000 words in 30 days. I am on year number thirteen! I have only one win.  The rules are a little more flexible than they were when I found out about it in 2005.  Which is pretty nice.  No more penalty for being a rebel if that is what you choose.

November has become a nemesis month of sorts for me. Losing my Grandma in the middle of my second attempt did that for me. So every year, it rears up its ugly head to haunt me.  Only once in thirteen years did I kick the nemesis in the ass with a win at almost 60,000 words.

Then this year, we lost my Beloved's grandma a couple of weeks ago. She had just had her 97th birthday earlier in the month and seemed to be doing so well.  It all happened so quickly, just like with my Grandma.  She was fine on her birthday and then a couple of weeks later she was gone.

I'm trying not to let death and grief win.  I want to figure out how to in some way use them to motivate me. Like I know I had my Grandma's support in my writing dream. And I'm sure Gramma would have supported me too if I had shared it with her.  I like to think she would have anyway.  She seemed to be that kind of lady.

I am not much of a plotter or planner when it comes to my writing. Most of the time I have barely a fragment of an idea.  This time I have the barest of bare details of a character. A setting I have had in my mind from a previous idea keeps coming to mind and my character seems to like it. I'm trying to figure out how to bring it to life in this story.

I can do this!  I know I can!  Even if I never publish, I know I can write a book regardless of if it's fantastic, utter rubbish, or some where in between.