So, it's December 1st and NaNoWriMo has come to an end. I barely hit 5,000 words. I'm disappointed in myself that I let "HIM" and just stuff stress me out to the point I couldn't think. One of these years I will proudly sport a "WINNER" button on my blog. Maybe 2010? If I plot, plan, research now and continue until then...just maybe.
I mean there was even a point after a read a preview of a new series I want to check out that I actually started to feel the creative juices brewing. I heard the gears squeak in resistance at first, I saw a real glimpse of my Muse. But then..."HE" happened and yea...everything froze. The ideas, the creative juices...poof...gone.
Try as I might, I can't seem to do anything while I'm under the same roof with him anymore. I feel like I can't breathe, like I can't live, I can't be me, I can't do the things I want to do...need to do. I feel like I'm drowning, suffocating while I'm under "HIS" roof.
I'm going to call it "HIS" home or under "HIS" roof because this doesn't feel like home to me. It hasn't felt like my house or my home for a very, very long time now.
But some how, some way I have to find a way to write, to create, to breathe again.