Ebb And Flow

That's how it feels some days.  The pain ebbs and flows, like the tide.  It's down from what it was after Thanksgiving.  But Christmas is just around the corner, which means I'll be pushing myself until the holidays have passed.  Which no doubt will mean a few high pain days ahead.  I think starting the new year, I will keep track of all my pain days and new symptoms as they crop up.  Every week lately, it seems like I have something new to experience.  Just grateful none have been debilitating.  Unless you count my foot deciding to cramp up as we were walking around the holiday light display in town while the hip of my opposite leg decided to flare.  I must have been a sight to see on the way back to the car!!!!

 At least for Christmas we aren't doing a big sit down dinner.  We've gone to a fairly casual, grazing finger foods and sandwiches.  Chips and dip, deli meats and cheeses, a couple of salads.  This year we're not even doing the cookie day and instead opting for each of us to make them at our own houses at our leisure.  It gets quite chaotic when you have five women all in need of the stove or the mixer or counter space.  Even last year when we did it at Sister #1's house, who has a double oven, it was a bit crazy.  I'm okay with it this way.  Momma T and I can take our time and do our cookies over a few days.

I'm not really feeling the holidays though.  I keep trying to get into the spirit of it, but it's like the magic just isn't there.  I would opt out of all this if I could.  Well, except the cookies.....because you know...COOKIES!!!!!  Though I'd still make them at my own pace.  It's just everything cost so much these days. And everyone is like in competition with each other, who got better gifts, who got bigger gifts.  Even though we now just do a name draw and fill a gift bag for that person.  Pleasing some people is near impossible.  I thought I had it easy this year, but now I'm starting to wonder if maybe my gifts will be underwhelming to them.

I've already been thinking about opting out of the exchange for next year.  It will be money saved, no hurt feelings or disappointments if the right gifts aren't bought.  And then I don't have to worry about anyone drawing my name and having them complain that I'm so difficult to buy for.  But if you don't take the time to learn about me or my interests, what do you expect??  So yeah, that's kinda how I'm feeling.  Then others that I have bought for in the past just don't seem to appreciate what I got and I'm lucky if I even get/got a thank you.  So I'm just really over the whole gift thing.

It's a damp and chilly day today. We'll be having bands of this as the weather moves in from the Pacific Coast.  Will we have a White Christmas though?  Who knows.  Looks like a 50/50 chance right now.