It started fairly basic today. Nothing out of the ordinary, except I'm mysteriously out of printer ink. I don't think I printed that much stuff, but the well is dry and that is mildly frustrating.
I figured I'd make a copy of the bankruptcy discharge to have with me for later on. Well with no ink, I had to scan it instead. I went to move it from my scanned file to the documents file. And that's where I fell apart. I read some letters that my Beloved emailed to me a while back, and I haven't been able to stop crying.
I miss him terribly. My heart aches with the pain of how much I miss him. My eyes hurt from crying and having cramps from hell today isn't helping matters much either. Reading his words once again touched my heart so deeply. I just want us to be us again. We're happy together, we make each other happier than we've ever been apart, we're good together. We share many of the same ideals and even if there's things we don't see eye to eye on we can have a good debate over it and not fight over it.
What we have is so very rare, and it's good and pure, and true. We belong together. I truly believe that we are the kind of soulmates that find each other again and again in every lifetime, that the love that is shared guides us together every time. He said he felt the same way. I deserve to be loved by him and be happy with him, we deserve to be with each other. I just want to be with my Beloved.
Update on the advocate front: I spoke to her briefly yesterday. The one lawyer she was trying to get is booked for the next couple of months. So she is trying to get me another. I talked to her again about getting out to where my Beloved is, and she said once again that they can help me with that. Went so far as to tell me to not worry about how much it will cost because they will take care of it. This baffles me somewhat, as the other girl said it would depend on the month's budget of what they had to work with. I'm also unsure of how all this will work if they pay for me to get out there. I don't want trouble with the Ogre. There is no need for other agencies to get involved either. I don't know if they would, I'm just saying there isn't a need for it. Or if it would be best to just get the tickets on my own when the prices drop again. Hmmm, what to do...what to do.