So yesterday was just full of surprises. I'm still kinda reeling from the tarot reading. Late last night doubts started to kick in, what if she was wrong, what if none of it happened, no matter how accurate she was. I'm trying to hold on to the positive aspect, that she read things in the cards only I would know and asked no leading questions, didn't ask what I was looking to find out...she just let the cards speak. A far cry from the 2 readings I had about 20 years ago...what started out as a $20 reading quickly escalated to the reader, portraying herself as a gypsy, to her saying I 'needed' to give her $200. She said it was the only way for her to get a clear reading, and none of what she told me came true, she asked a lot of questions, and she wasn't even remotely close to anything...so you can see my leeriness of getting a reading.
But anyway...that's not the other crazy thing...no, no...
So this expo is all like holistic, homeopathic, organic type stuff...vitamins, drinks, foods, body care, massage therapy, some craft vendors, etc... Well! In the midst of all that there was a lawyer! At the fare! A DIVORCE LAWYER!!! I'm like huh? A lawyer has a booth at the fare, wtf? And she was giving away these little baggies with a tea-light candle, herbal tea bag and her card...telling anyone who passed by, "Bring me your crazy!" So of course, I'm intrigued by this woman. We got to talking, she said "Ask me anything." So I did, we talked, I told her I had to be careful as "my crazy" was at the expo with me. We briefly talked about the girls, she said they are of age and can choose who they want to live with. We talked about how he's in denial and won't let go, she said in this state only one party has to want the divorce, so I won't need "HIM" to say okay.
She told me I had to stop looking at how I was stuck and couldn't get out, and start thinking about how I was going to get where I want to be. And if I wanted out, she could help me get there but I have to truly want it. I want it...Goddess knows I do, but...I don't have the $4000 it's going to cost to get there...not yet I don't and I have NO bloody idea how I'm going to get that money. I had it 3 years ago, before "HE" blew through it all. How in the heck am I going to get this kind of money??
All I have to hold onto right now is that the tarot reader saw money picking up for me in the next year, that she saw me in some sort of business, and she saw me writing. Maybe one of those is an avenue but I'm so far from any of it I don't see how it's even possible. But it's all I've got to hold onto right now.