Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Dreams...or Nightmares

I'm not one to interpret dreams. I don't even know how. I mean aside from googling dream dictionary sites and then there are soooooo many different interpretations.

Most times, I don't really remember my dreams. Even if I do, it's so vague and doesn't make sense that I usually forget it soon after I wake up. But this one, I can't shake it. It was so vivid, so real, it terrified me.

In my dream, I was asleep in my room. And then "HE" came in acting like "he" was going to look out the window but instead climbed into the bed. I was tangled in the blankets and "he" held me in a kind of bear hug so that I couldn't move. In the dream I kept trying to scream, to yell at "him" to let me go. But my throat was tight and I couldn't do get the words out. In the dream the harder I struggled the tighter "he" held on, grinding against me through the blankets saying "you're still my wife". I kept struggling, kept trying to say something. Then finally my throat opened up and I was able to scream "Get off me and let me go!"

I screamed it so loud in my dream, that I actually said it out loud and woke myself up. I jumped up, just hearing the end of what I said out loud, and I was gasping for breath. "HE" wasn't home. But it was so damn real. I could almost still feel where "he" was holding on time and grinding against me.

I don't know what this all means, if it means anything at all. Or if it's just the stress of the last few days, weeks, months...years. My want/need to get out of this marriage, to leave "him". I just don't know. I do know that the dream scared the shit out of me though and I haven't been sleeping very well since.

Anyone have any ideas if this has any meaning, or is it just stress?


  1. Feeling suffocated/trapped seems to cover it pretty literally, I think. It sounds like he has built up his life ON you, and you have been stuck "under" him all this time. Now your subconscious is acknowledging that it wants/needs out. Plain and simple.

    I could be wrong, but it seems fairly straightforward.

  2. I agree with Wendy.... A trapped feeling by "Him" with a great desire for release. Sounds like the desire is finally coming to a head thus you woke yourself up, and trying to get you to listen to "You"

  3. Knowing you need out is the first step and the dream seems to be telling you there is no turning away any longer, loss of your voice could be the interpretation of how hard it is to face it. Seems it has come forward that free of "him" is what you need/want.

    That is what I get out of it at least.