Screw it! I can't do the NaBloWriMo! I've been feeling like shit on and off for the last couple weeks. From feeling like I'm trying to fight off a cold, to my allergies set off by the on going harvests in the surrounding fields, to a couple asthma attacks (nothing serious, thankfully), and lastly left shoulder and right hand having pain and exhibiting symptoms of arthritis. I'm too young for this shit! Arthritis? SERIOUSLY! The weather's turned fall like very quickly. And the cooler temps have really kicked up the achy-ness.
So instead of doing the blog wrimo, I'm getting ready for NaNo which starts on November 1st. This year is the 8th year I will attempt to write 50,000 words in 30 days. I'm also going to try and participate in 3 Books in 3 Months. The goal is to write 3 short stories, flash fiction, or books in 3 months. It started a couple of days ago. I don't know what direction to take. I figure I'd have November covered with NaNo. But this month and December, I'm a bit stumped. I'm still not sure what to work on for NaNo either.
I spent the afternoon going through the forums for adoptable ideas. I found a few that would work with at least one of the plots rolling around in my head. I really need to make this happen!!!
I wrote earlier on my wordpress blog, how I was reading some old emails between my long lost friend and I...the one that I was trying to the writing exercise with. Now we're talking emails that are 4-6 years old!!! It goes back to when we first talked about writing and doing that exercise, to when we started it over. My GODS! I sounded so pathetic! Somehow reading what I was feeling at the time, all the bullshit of how god awful I am really hit me.
Not only did I read in those emails how good at writing he thought I was, but they also included me telling him about how my Beloved thought I was good at it. Which then reminded me of the one time I got the courage to share a piece to be critiqued by someone in a Fantasy Writing Yahoo group. And they too thought I was good, that I just needed to work on my "voice" and that I needed to do more showing instead of telling. So in the span of a couple of years, I had three different people tell me I was good. Yet I still let those damn gremlins tell me how much I suck!!! WTF is wrong with me? I mean seriously! SHIT! Wake the fuck up girlfriend!!! Another thing he told me was basically if I let the fear and doubt take control it will destroy my creativity. And ya know what? He's right!
Now does that mean the gremlins will STFU? Probably not! Will they be yapping away in the back of my head....kind of like they are right now? Hell yeah of course they will be. Will I listen? I'm gonna sure as hell try not too.
Well I know nothing at all about writing short stories or flash fiction, but I'm gonna learn and try my hand at it. I'm going to give NaNo my best effort next month!!! I'd say failure is not an option, but shit happens. No, I'm not setting myself up to fail already or saying I will, but what I am going to do to is try my damnedest to write those 50,000 words next month!!!