Normal is:
- Me being hard on myself about everything.
- Me feeling like an epic failure at life, love, writing.
- Me wanting to run, run until I can't anymore and the run even further to escape the pain, heartache and doubts I feel.
- My fiancee telling me everyday he loves me, that I'm his life, his soulmate.
Words that hurt me:
It's all your fault that (fill in the blank) happened.
You'll never amount to anything.
You'll never be happy.
No one will ever love you.
I was only with you because I felt sorry for you.
You're pathetic and a loser.
You're stubborn and just like your father.
Wow....those are some hurtful words!! And I am with you on the "running away from things".... sometimes I definitely want o just run away!!
ReplyDeleteAfter reading this post and your previous one, my hope is that you can learn to love yourselff, so that you will not doubt the love that comes to you from others.
ReplyDeleteRe: failing. I just had a long conversation about insecurity. My husband thinks it's a "girl" thing--that girls are naturally inclined to be insecure. I think it's a writer thing...not sure, in the end, which it is--but I'm right there with you on it!
ReplyDeleteThose are hurtful thoughts, and strike a common cord. I find that when I read then it hurts, and then I get angry and think, 'What do you know? I'll show you!'
ReplyDeleteSometimes thinking about these bad things help spur us on to prove the world wrong.