Broken

This last week has been brutal.

I have been trying to push through it all.  Keep going, don't let it all get you down.

But I feel like I have been hit by a train.  Every morning for almost two weeks now starts out
with me feeling sore and stiff.    I don't know how successful I am at hiding how crappy I really
feel.  People don't want to hear it, ya know.

Today is now day four of the headache that won't go away.  I've been taking Advil migraine and it only just takes the edge off but doesn't make it go away.  And it hardly touches the other pains that run down my entire back.

I think most of it my body reacting to the events of the last couple of weeks.  Some of it is probably weather related.  We've had several overcast days and FINALLY had our first real rain since June.


I was just  reading an article that was shared on twitter about chronic pain.  And one of the points in the article is that doctors just don't want to deal with it.  I think that is what my doctor is doing.  I don't think he knows enough about Fibro to want to diagnose me and so he just leaves it as chronic pain and dismisses me like I don't know anything.  He's a PA, not an MD.  But I still thought they had to keep up with things and learn about the stuff their patients might get or have.  And if you don't know, then FFS refer them to someone who does.

An example is S has asthma.  He has inquired a couple of times about getting put on a different inhaler.  The PA says he isn't comfortable about prescribing it because he doesn't know enough about it.  Well shouldn't you be making an effort then to learn so you can help your patients?  Why would it be okay to keep them on something that is only partially helping?


I don't want to take the meds that would be prescribed for pain or Fibro.  I don't want to get hooked on anything and the side effects that they cause are too great a risk for me to take.  Not to mention the number of people that have said they felt worse taking the medications.  And that getting off them was another kind of hell.


I just feel like the events of recent have broke me.