It seems to be that time of year, where drawing inward occurs. I grow quieter, and ponder the past year...the marks I've missed, the goals I failed to meet, the ones I did meet., what do I want for the coming year, so on and so forth.
I realized I missed a lot of goals and opportunities this year, through no fault but my own. I started off pretty good, then...somewhere along the line, I began to hem and haw, find excuses to delay, basically procrastinate. I can't beat myself up over it, I can't go back and change any of it. What's done is done.
Am I disappointed with myself? Of course! Am I angry? Maybe a little. But none of that will change anything either.
All I can do is strive to do better. Make 2013 a better year. I want to be more productive. I want to create more art, write more, cook more, create more, read more. I want to get an Etsy shop going...finally. First steps would be to decide what I want to sell on Etsy, find a store name that reflects who I am and what I create.
If Julia Child didn't start cooking until she was 37, why can't I become who I want to be at 43? I have such a bad habit of looking at how old I am and thinking too often that it's too late to do the things I want to do with my life. Even though my Beloved tells me all the time that I'm not to old. That age is just a number. And I know damn well he's right! (Don't tell him I said that! LOL!!!) It's hard to change the thought patterns that have been embedded in my mind since childhood. I have managed to over come many, but I'm far from done. But I'm determined.
I really hope to stay on track with what ever goals I set for the coming year. The next 22 days will be spent thinking, planning, wishing, hoping. I will be thinking about my "word for the year". One thing I've thought about is asking for a couple of volunteers to be my personal ass-kicker, motivator, cheerleader, cattle prodder....you get the idea. One I will be asking is my Beloved, because well he is the one person I trust the most. He is here, and can when I'm not being productive. But I'm also hoping to add a friend or two to the team that I can touch bases with monthly, bi-monthly, weekly, daily if necessary sometimes. What ever it takes to stay on track to success.