So many times I've tried to start and keep up with a blog, and I've failed time and again. Yet here I am, once again, making that attempt. And hopefully a successful one this time.
About three years ago, I had an idea for a fantasy novel. I had characters, settings, plots, all in my head. So many ideas flying around i couldn't get them all down, but then again I knew nothing about keeping a Writer's Notebook either. I did manage to jot down a lot of it, even managed to create a few chapters. I attempted NaNoWriMo that year, but I didn't make the goal.
The sad reality is that my grandmother, my rock, my mentor took ill. To our sadness, we learned that the cancer she had beaten years earlier had returned with a vengeance. It hit so fast, so hard. It had metastasized to her spine, her ribs, and was seeming to spread to new areas daily. She was in such pain, I felt helpless to ease it and comfort her.
With this all of my writing was put on hold. I couldn't think or focus on anything else but her. Thanksgiving day 2006 at around noon, my beloved grandmother passed from this world. I felt my entire world die with her. Despite the fact I had my children around me, I felt very much alone. When she died, all my dreams, my thoughts of writing, my ideas, my inspiration...all died with her that day.
She always believed in me, never judged me, always supported me. So I know she would not want me to go on like this. She would want me to search and find my inspiration, and chase my dream. So, I've been trying to do just that. I've pulled out all my notes, all my research in hopes of trying to find that spark. But I also have something else now, I have an amazing, wonderful guy that believes in me. So as I find my way back to writing, with his love and support, I can make it one day.