It's Done

It's official!! Finally!!

There were a couple of small hiccups, clerical errors.  Nothing crazy.  
Everything finally got corrected and submitted. 

The decree has been finalized.

I'm honestly not sure how I feel.

Relief?  I think.

Yet, there's the feeling of waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Like there's some hidden surprise lurking in the shadows.
And not in a good way.

I'm sure it's all just my brain falling back to old patterns.
It's what I know. It's what's familiar. Something I need to unlearn.

Next week is when I go around to all the places to file for name change.
Should be interesting.

Now that I have my name again, I wonder how many times I might make a mistake
and write the wrong last name after so many years.  

Part of me feels overwhelmed.
Part of me feels relief.
Part of me feels numb or shocked, maybe both.
At least I think that's how I feel.
How am I supposed to feel?
I've never done this before.

This is a whole new experience. One I hope not to repeat, ever again.
That's easy enough to accomplish though.

The price of this freedom though, cost me dearly. In ways I cannot even begin to describe.