Searching For My Word

We are 12 days from Christmas and 19 (?) days from the start of the New Year.

About this time of year, I start to ponder a word to bring me into the New Year. Something to focus on, strive for, bring to life throughout the year. I discovered this idea back in 2010, I think it was. It was that year that I picked a word for 2011. My word then was FREEDOM. And Oh My! I lived my word that year.

Since then, I have chosen a word every December. Not all of them had the same impact as that first one.  Last year, I chose DREAM. And while I did do quite a bit of dreaming, not much was brought to life.

As we day by day, draw 2017 to a close I am searching for my word for 2018. I have a list I have been putting together, possible words. I found several new to me words, a couple have potential to be a the top of the list.

• NOVATURIENT: (adjective) Desiring or seeking powerful change in one's life, behavior, or situation. (note: I have done a bit of research on this word and a few sites claim it is not a "real" word. So finding a synonym for it is impossible.)
• AUTOTELIC: A person who is motivated by the deeper inner rewards of creativity, immersion, and "flow".
• QUERENCIA: A place where one feels safe, a place from which one's strength of character is drawn. The place where you are your most authentic self.
• METANOIA: The journey to changing one's mind, heart, self, or way of life.

They all have some poetic-ness to them, but I also want something that is always in the back of mind within reach. Because these words are so unique, I am afraid I will easily forget it on a daily basis.

Then there is the list of "normal" word choices:

• CONNECT(ION)
• INTENTION
• WANDER(LUST)
• FOCUS
• EXPLORE
• INWARD
• NAVIGATE
• FEARLESS
• ANCHOR
• HABIT
• SACRED

I know that there really isn't a hard fast rule that says I can't have more than one word. Like let's say I choose NAVIGATE and ANCHOR, for example. So more than one is always an option like when I chose Creative Alchemy a while back.

But the last few weeks I have been feeling the need to draw INWARD. Now, I don't know if it is a temporary thing or something I need to do for the year. But another word is coming up to that isn't on the list yet, and that word is ENOUGH. All this year, the last several years, and if I am honest most of my life I have struggled with feeling like I am enough. That feeling of not being, of lacking, of being less than....it reared it's head again a few days ago.

Part of me is beginning to think that I need to tackle that head on.  To work on self love, self care, self acceptance. To stop worrying if I am not ENOUGH or if I am TOO MUCH for some people. I feel like I need to come to some terms with  what does being ENOUGH feel like. I am ENOUGH for me?

I will sit with my list for as long as I need, adding or subtracting possible words. Seeing which one or ones fit for 2018. Hopefully I will find it before the new year begins.

How about you? Have you picked your word(s) yet? I would love to hear your choices if you have or your nominees if you are still deciding.