Sunday, June 1, 2014

Well, It' June Already And I've Nothing To Show For It

Boy time sure flies when you're busy doing nothing.  Half a year is almost gone and what's to show for it?  Not a whole hell of a lot, that's for shit sure.

I had planned to blog here a bit more often and well that hasn't happened since March. As my Beloved keeps saying...I seem to be in a rut.  Which he says is making me pissy and quite bitchy.  I haven't felt like I am but that doesn't me I'm not either.

My plans to paint the year away haven't lived up.  Same with writing.  I totally flopped and failed for April's Camp NaNoWriMo.  I don't even know what my biggest struggle is.  I can't seem to find the motivation.  I can't get into a daily practice.  I really struggle with it.  I don't know why I'm having such a hard time with developing a daily practice of art and writing.  I want to do them, but I feel held back.  Maybe it's those voices that tell me whatever I create will be shitty.  I dunno.  But it's annoying and it's getting old.

So today, being the first day of a new month am deciding more or less enough is enough.  But be warned I've said this before and feel right back quite easily into the non-creative rut.  As I was saying, I decided to take on a challenge called 100 Happy Days.  There is a website by that name if you want to sign up and take the challenge.  Which in itself is rather simple in its concept.  Take one photograph of something that makes you happy and post it online with the hashtag of 100 happy days.  Simple right?  Sounds easy enough.  But the challenge is going to be A) remembering to take said photo, B) remembering to post said photo.  The thing I dread is what if I don't have or find something to photograph.  I did take my first picture though and it's already posted.  Because well...Llamas!

I also signed up for a free challenge at The Sketchbook Project.  (Oh did I mention the above mentioned challenge is free too?  Well, it is!)  For this, I have one week, well until June 6th to find and photograph a face in an unusual place.  I tend to over think things...A LOT!  So I am finding this a real challenge.  If you want to participate, there are still spots can sign up here:

And finally there is another Camp NaNoWriMo starting July 1st.  I've already signed up with a goal of 10,000 words.  That's approximately 323 words a day.  So we'll see where I get with this one.

To say that I have nothing to show for half a year isn't entirely true.  I have made a few journal pages.  And I've worked some on a big painting I have hang up, it's not done yet.  The face is giving me a grief.  I have a hard time with faces, and I'm trying to figure out what works for me.

Another thing, I want to delve into is to study Druidry.  I've found a couple of places where I can do so online for free.  I just don't know I'll start that. I wish I had some of the books about Druidry so I didn't have to be at the computer to study.  But I can't afford to buy them and I can't afford to buy a library card, besides I don't think they have said books anyway.

So there it is. I'm struggling, I've fallen into a rut, and I'm tired of it.  I just don't know how to get off this merry-go-round that isn't so merry.


  1. I studied with the New Order of Druids. Totally free. Lots of essays to write, though.

    1. I believe they are one of places I've been looking at. I do have them bookmarked too. I keep hoping that I'll find some books in a thrift store or at a yard sale. Had no luck so far with that.