And believe me, the year will not be sorely missed. In fact here at the house, we can't wait for the year to be over and for 2014 to start. Hopefully, wishing wholeheartedly that the coming year fairs better for us all. Not just for us here, but to all of you out there in blog-land that had a sucky 2013.
I wish for all of you a year of peace and love, abundant joy. A year filled with good health and healing, an abundance of prosperity in ever manner. May it be a year of all that you wish and dream for, yet so much more.
We are spending the evening at home where it is warm and cozy and filled with love. Where ever you are and what ever you do tonight stay safe and have fun.
In this 37th and final post for the year, GOOD BYE 2013!! And HELLO and WELCOME 2014....please be a good one!
Tuesday, December 31, 2013
Thursday, December 26, 2013
Reflecting
It's come around to that time of year where it's almost over. Just a few days from now we will bid farewell to 2013 and ring in the new year of 2014. As the year draws to a close, I find myself once again reflecting back over the past year.
This year in a lot of ways wasn't the best year, in fact it was pretty darn awful. If it wasn't for the "Happiness Jar" we have sitting on the counter, we might forget that it wasn't all bad after all.
The year started with the loss of a close family friend's 6 month old grand daughter who never woke from her nap. The following month, sister #3's fiancee lost his older brother. The month after that my uncle lost his battle with prostate cancer. And the losses mounted from there. I've lost count just how many people Sister #3 and her fiancee have lost this year. At one point it seemed every other week someone else they knew died. Here at the house, we have lost three cats and one dog.
Then June rolled around and my Beloved's Dad felt something was off with his blood sugar. He went to have it checked and it was indeed too high. Him being a long haul driver, this took him off the road. He has now been home for six months. This has made finances VERY tight!!!! It is now under control and he has long since filed all the proper paperwork, but he is still waiting for official approval to go back to work. The government shutdown a couple of months ago did not help the process. The financial strain is taking it's toll emotionally. Especially over the holidays. We have the nicest, kindest neighbor couple. If it weren't for them, we wouldn't have had our Christmas dinner. They provided us with a small beef roast and a small turkey. Not to mention the other beef they have blessed us with over the last month.
Over all this has been a hard year with small blessings sprinkled in. We are all truly looking forward to a new year and hopefully a better year.
As I am thinking about the past year, I think about the word I chose which was 'dare'. I don't feel like I dared as much as I would have liked. I let things like fear and doubt get in my way yet again. I did dare to dream some, I did dare to create some art (2 pieces of which I actually hung out over my computer desk where everyone can see them), I did dare to write (and I won my first NaNo even if I did rebel it.). I just wish I had dared more. So I sit now and think about the year ahead. Jotting down words that I might choose for 2014. Writing down things I would like to accomplish next year.
Here's to hoping we can end this year on a good note at least.
This year in a lot of ways wasn't the best year, in fact it was pretty darn awful. If it wasn't for the "Happiness Jar" we have sitting on the counter, we might forget that it wasn't all bad after all.
The year started with the loss of a close family friend's 6 month old grand daughter who never woke from her nap. The following month, sister #3's fiancee lost his older brother. The month after that my uncle lost his battle with prostate cancer. And the losses mounted from there. I've lost count just how many people Sister #3 and her fiancee have lost this year. At one point it seemed every other week someone else they knew died. Here at the house, we have lost three cats and one dog.
Then June rolled around and my Beloved's Dad felt something was off with his blood sugar. He went to have it checked and it was indeed too high. Him being a long haul driver, this took him off the road. He has now been home for six months. This has made finances VERY tight!!!! It is now under control and he has long since filed all the proper paperwork, but he is still waiting for official approval to go back to work. The government shutdown a couple of months ago did not help the process. The financial strain is taking it's toll emotionally. Especially over the holidays. We have the nicest, kindest neighbor couple. If it weren't for them, we wouldn't have had our Christmas dinner. They provided us with a small beef roast and a small turkey. Not to mention the other beef they have blessed us with over the last month.
Over all this has been a hard year with small blessings sprinkled in. We are all truly looking forward to a new year and hopefully a better year.
As I am thinking about the past year, I think about the word I chose which was 'dare'. I don't feel like I dared as much as I would have liked. I let things like fear and doubt get in my way yet again. I did dare to dream some, I did dare to create some art (2 pieces of which I actually hung out over my computer desk where everyone can see them), I did dare to write (and I won my first NaNo even if I did rebel it.). I just wish I had dared more. So I sit now and think about the year ahead. Jotting down words that I might choose for 2014. Writing down things I would like to accomplish next year.
Here's to hoping we can end this year on a good note at least.
Thursday, November 14, 2013
Writing Update
I am pleased with my progress with NaNoWriMo so far. I have never written this much ever, not in any attempt at writing or NaNo. The last chapter I wrote, ended up as total shit. It wasn't what I was expecting for it. I'm a panster, I don't have outlines and stuff like that. I have a general idea of where I want things to go, but I have just been letting the words pour out and where ever it ends up is where it stays for now. I have tried to redeem it somewhat, so we will see. Right now it's all about the word count and not how good or bad it is.
Today is day 14, which means the should have written 23,333 words so far. My current word count is at 20,913. I am coming up a bit short at the moment, but that's okay because I know I can still meet the goal. I also feel like I need to make up for the day I decided to rebel instead of stick with the story I am working on. I was already upset that the chapter turned into a shit-fest, but then I got pissed off at other things and I figured being a rebel for a day was better than not writing at all. So that's like another almost 1600 words I need or want to make up for. To make up for everything, I need right around 4,000 words today. I know I can do it. I just find I procrastinate until the last minute. I can't help it, part of me is amazed at how many words I can put out in the last hour or two of the day. It's a bad habit I'm forming if I let myself keep doing it.
I know I can write close to 5,000 words in about 3 hours. That was what I needed to catch up last week when I pulled a muscle in my lower back. I went to YouTube and found a LotR Trilogy soundtrack to listen to and just wrote and wrote and wrote. There was about 10 minutes left on the play time when I finished. That was probably one of my proudest days so far.
You know I see a lot of people that are participating that are posting stuff about how stressful it is and how they have no life for the month, among other things. I used to stress...A LOT...about NaNo. This year though, I decided to take a different approach mentally. I really don't know what "clicked" and made the difference. I know I am not letting myself stress over. And I do have a life. I still can watch my shows and play my games, I can still raid 3 nights a week with my guild in World of Warcraft. I have been able to go out, too. This isn't an editors deadline or word count here people, relax and have fun. Big difference in my "omg doom and gloom" attitude of NaNos past I can tell you.
Like I said, I don't know what changed for me or in me. But something has. It's almost like a light bulb went off or a switch got flipped. I truly cannot explain it. Do I think what I have is publishable? Hell no! Do I think it's any good? Right now, another HELL NO! Is it going to be worth editing and then perhaps sending out to query? Um, I don't know. The goal right now it just to get it out of my head. Then I will see about getting a hard copy printed off and red penning it. After that, I dunno. But for now, I am just going to enjoy myself and the fact that I am finally writing.
Today is day 14, which means the should have written 23,333 words so far. My current word count is at 20,913. I am coming up a bit short at the moment, but that's okay because I know I can still meet the goal. I also feel like I need to make up for the day I decided to rebel instead of stick with the story I am working on. I was already upset that the chapter turned into a shit-fest, but then I got pissed off at other things and I figured being a rebel for a day was better than not writing at all. So that's like another almost 1600 words I need or want to make up for. To make up for everything, I need right around 4,000 words today. I know I can do it. I just find I procrastinate until the last minute. I can't help it, part of me is amazed at how many words I can put out in the last hour or two of the day. It's a bad habit I'm forming if I let myself keep doing it.
I know I can write close to 5,000 words in about 3 hours. That was what I needed to catch up last week when I pulled a muscle in my lower back. I went to YouTube and found a LotR Trilogy soundtrack to listen to and just wrote and wrote and wrote. There was about 10 minutes left on the play time when I finished. That was probably one of my proudest days so far.
You know I see a lot of people that are participating that are posting stuff about how stressful it is and how they have no life for the month, among other things. I used to stress...A LOT...about NaNo. This year though, I decided to take a different approach mentally. I really don't know what "clicked" and made the difference. I know I am not letting myself stress over. And I do have a life. I still can watch my shows and play my games, I can still raid 3 nights a week with my guild in World of Warcraft. I have been able to go out, too. This isn't an editors deadline or word count here people, relax and have fun. Big difference in my "omg doom and gloom" attitude of NaNos past I can tell you.
Like I said, I don't know what changed for me or in me. But something has. It's almost like a light bulb went off or a switch got flipped. I truly cannot explain it. Do I think what I have is publishable? Hell no! Do I think it's any good? Right now, another HELL NO! Is it going to be worth editing and then perhaps sending out to query? Um, I don't know. The goal right now it just to get it out of my head. Then I will see about getting a hard copy printed off and red penning it. After that, I dunno. But for now, I am just going to enjoy myself and the fact that I am finally writing.
Saturday, November 2, 2013
And We're Off!
Let the writing frenzy commence. Well it did for many at the stroke of midnight local time all around the world as WriMo-ers attempt to write 50,000 words in this month of November. I have joined the pack as I have done every year for the last eight years.
In between writing spurts, I have been marveling at how well some others have been doing. One gal...she challenged herself to write all 50k in 24 hours and DID IT! She was just over the 50k and still had about 4 hours to spare. That my friends is some insane writing right there! My friend Wendy...made it to 15,000 on her first day! Her personal goal was 9k. (I'm jealous, but happy for her too!!) I have seen some many varying degrees of first day success, it's amazing!
Before I headed to bed, shortly after midnight on the first, I wrote the first few lines of what will my NaNo novel. I just couldn't go to be without writing something. I got some sleep and hit the computer shortly after 10 AM. Did a quick email and facebook check, and then dove into writing out the beginnings of the chapter that I had sketched out days earlier. I ended the day with just over 2,000 words! The goal for the day was only 1667. I was...am pleased to say the least. I wrote on and off through out the day so as not to stress my shoulder too much.
When I went to bed last night, it was all I could do not to come back out to my computer and write some more. If it wasn't for my protesting shoulder, I might have done so. But I got back up this morning, and after the usual check of email and facebook again. It's habit, I just make sure I don't let myself get sucked in by the games right now. They will be there. I worked some more on writing. It seems so right to be writing. I don't know what it is. Before I knew it, I was over 4,000 total and set a goal to reach at least 5,000 for the day. I passed that now too. I am a full day a head of the daily mark. I am so proud of myself right now. I just hope the momentum keeps up and that all the characters just keep throwing things out at me. It has been a good two days for me writing wise.
Here's to hoping the next 45,000 words come just as easily.
In between writing spurts, I have been marveling at how well some others have been doing. One gal...she challenged herself to write all 50k in 24 hours and DID IT! She was just over the 50k and still had about 4 hours to spare. That my friends is some insane writing right there! My friend Wendy...made it to 15,000 on her first day! Her personal goal was 9k. (I'm jealous, but happy for her too!!) I have seen some many varying degrees of first day success, it's amazing!
Before I headed to bed, shortly after midnight on the first, I wrote the first few lines of what will my NaNo novel. I just couldn't go to be without writing something. I got some sleep and hit the computer shortly after 10 AM. Did a quick email and facebook check, and then dove into writing out the beginnings of the chapter that I had sketched out days earlier. I ended the day with just over 2,000 words! The goal for the day was only 1667. I was...am pleased to say the least. I wrote on and off through out the day so as not to stress my shoulder too much.
When I went to bed last night, it was all I could do not to come back out to my computer and write some more. If it wasn't for my protesting shoulder, I might have done so. But I got back up this morning, and after the usual check of email and facebook again. It's habit, I just make sure I don't let myself get sucked in by the games right now. They will be there. I worked some more on writing. It seems so right to be writing. I don't know what it is. Before I knew it, I was over 4,000 total and set a goal to reach at least 5,000 for the day. I passed that now too. I am a full day a head of the daily mark. I am so proud of myself right now. I just hope the momentum keeps up and that all the characters just keep throwing things out at me. It has been a good two days for me writing wise.
Here's to hoping the next 45,000 words come just as easily.
Thursday, October 31, 2013
One Hour Till NaNo
Just as I suspected, expected, anticipated? NaNo is about an hour away from kick off and I don't know if I'm feeling it. I've been wondering why that is. Why do I have all this excitement and drive let's say leading up to it? Then, when it's almost time or it is time, it starts to fade away.
I think I may have actually figured out part of that. November 1st is my Grandma's birthday. She would have been 93 this year. November is also the month of her passing. And I miss her so much! And it hurts not to have her here. Earlier in October we celebrated my Beloved's grandmother's 93rd birthday. I've come to love her and am very fond of her. But there is that part of me that aches knowing my own Gram's isn't around to celebrate her day anymore. I miss our day of going out and celebrating our birthdays together. (My own was just a couple of days ago. So we would always go out and celebrate ours together.) I think it's the missing her that starts to take over and everything slips away.
I know she wouldn't want me to not do something because of her. I need to find a way past this, so that I can write...especially in November. I had a dream of her a few days ago. It was very vague, I don't remember much of it at all other than she didn't seem too happy. But the whole dream, of what I do remember, was very strange and made no sense at all.
It is now 11:11 PM. It is my wish that I have a successful NaNoWriMo. And I wish all of you participating have much success as well.
I think I may have actually figured out part of that. November 1st is my Grandma's birthday. She would have been 93 this year. November is also the month of her passing. And I miss her so much! And it hurts not to have her here. Earlier in October we celebrated my Beloved's grandmother's 93rd birthday. I've come to love her and am very fond of her. But there is that part of me that aches knowing my own Gram's isn't around to celebrate her day anymore. I miss our day of going out and celebrating our birthdays together. (My own was just a couple of days ago. So we would always go out and celebrate ours together.) I think it's the missing her that starts to take over and everything slips away.
I know she wouldn't want me to not do something because of her. I need to find a way past this, so that I can write...especially in November. I had a dream of her a few days ago. It was very vague, I don't remember much of it at all other than she didn't seem too happy. But the whole dream, of what I do remember, was very strange and made no sense at all.
It is now 11:11 PM. It is my wish that I have a successful NaNoWriMo. And I wish all of you participating have much success as well.
Saturday, October 26, 2013
Winter is Coming, And So Is NaNo
The weather is turning colder and colder. Far colder this year so far as I can recall. We've already had temps down into the 30s at night, with frost. Starting next week, on Tuesday we can expect night time temps into the 20s...in fact Tuesday night is supposed to go down to 22!! I'm starting to think there's some truth to the Wooley Bear Caterpillar! Mom's seen 3 of them so far in the last month. I saw my first yesterday, and it only had a thin band of reddish-brown around it's middle. According the almanac's and old-wives tales, the thinner the band the harder the winter. If these early low temps are an indication, I don't know what to expect for the next few months. Does that mean we have lots of snow coming? Just very cold temps? So according to this cute fuzzy caterpillar...Winter is Coming!!
And next week, so is NaNo. Five days until insanity ensues. I'm happy that the voices in my head are tossing things out at me left and right. I'm trying to keep things written down. I have characters from my old, original NaNo project begging to be put in this one. I have the character from that collaborative exercise demanding to be included as well. It could all work out really well, it totally could. I so anxious...no....I can't wait to get started, it's so hard to not start right now! In my attempts to not forget ideas and writing them down, I end up instead writing 2-4 pages of stuff. Crappy stuff, lacking all the details and scene description but still....and it makes me want to keep going and not stop. It worries me that come the stroke of midnight and the calendar turns to November everything will stop just like it has before. I don't dwell on the daily word count part too much, more that I want to reach the finish line. I don't know what it is that makes me freeze up, that makes the voices grow silent, that makes my Muse disappear.
I was thinking about making an altar to Cerridwen. The Goddess of writers, crafters, artists. She was the first Goddess to ever call to me. I don't know what I would put on an altar to her. Maybe it would help, maybe not.
I just want to be able to write and be good at it. I just want to win a NaNo even if it's all total shit and not written in an organized manner.
And next week, so is NaNo. Five days until insanity ensues. I'm happy that the voices in my head are tossing things out at me left and right. I'm trying to keep things written down. I have characters from my old, original NaNo project begging to be put in this one. I have the character from that collaborative exercise demanding to be included as well. It could all work out really well, it totally could. I so anxious...no....I can't wait to get started, it's so hard to not start right now! In my attempts to not forget ideas and writing them down, I end up instead writing 2-4 pages of stuff. Crappy stuff, lacking all the details and scene description but still....and it makes me want to keep going and not stop. It worries me that come the stroke of midnight and the calendar turns to November everything will stop just like it has before. I don't dwell on the daily word count part too much, more that I want to reach the finish line. I don't know what it is that makes me freeze up, that makes the voices grow silent, that makes my Muse disappear.
I was thinking about making an altar to Cerridwen. The Goddess of writers, crafters, artists. She was the first Goddess to ever call to me. I don't know what I would put on an altar to her. Maybe it would help, maybe not.
I just want to be able to write and be good at it. I just want to win a NaNo even if it's all total shit and not written in an organized manner.
Thursday, October 10, 2013
NaNoWriMo Is Coming!!!
Screw it! I can't do the NaBloWriMo! I've been feeling like shit on and off for the last couple weeks. From feeling like I'm trying to fight off a cold, to my allergies set off by the on going harvests in the surrounding fields, to a couple asthma attacks (nothing serious, thankfully), and lastly left shoulder and right hand having pain and exhibiting symptoms of arthritis. I'm too young for this shit! Arthritis? SERIOUSLY! The weather's turned fall like very quickly. And the cooler temps have really kicked up the achy-ness.
So instead of doing the blog wrimo, I'm getting ready for NaNo which starts on November 1st. This year is the 8th year I will attempt to write 50,000 words in 30 days. I'm also going to try and participate in 3 Books in 3 Months. The goal is to write 3 short stories, flash fiction, or books in 3 months. It started a couple of days ago. I don't know what direction to take. I figure I'd have November covered with NaNo. But this month and December, I'm a bit stumped. I'm still not sure what to work on for NaNo either.
I spent the afternoon going through the forums for adoptable ideas. I found a few that would work with at least one of the plots rolling around in my head. I really need to make this happen!!!
I wrote earlier on my wordpress blog, how I was reading some old emails between my long lost friend and I...the one that I was trying to the writing exercise with. Now we're talking emails that are 4-6 years old!!! It goes back to when we first talked about writing and doing that exercise, to when we started it over. My GODS! I sounded so pathetic! Somehow reading what I was feeling at the time, all the bullshit of how god awful I am really hit me.
Not only did I read in those emails how good at writing he thought I was, but they also included me telling him about how my Beloved thought I was good at it. Which then reminded me of the one time I got the courage to share a piece to be critiqued by someone in a Fantasy Writing Yahoo group. And they too thought I was good, that I just needed to work on my "voice" and that I needed to do more showing instead of telling. So in the span of a couple of years, I had three different people tell me I was good. Yet I still let those damn gremlins tell me how much I suck!!! WTF is wrong with me? I mean seriously! SHIT! Wake the fuck up girlfriend!!! Another thing he told me was basically if I let the fear and doubt take control it will destroy my creativity. And ya know what? He's right!
Now does that mean the gremlins will STFU? Probably not! Will they be yapping away in the back of my head....kind of like they are right now? Hell yeah of course they will be. Will I listen? I'm gonna sure as hell try not too.
Well I know nothing at all about writing short stories or flash fiction, but I'm gonna learn and try my hand at it. I'm going to give NaNo my best effort next month!!! I'd say failure is not an option, but shit happens. No, I'm not setting myself up to fail already or saying I will, but what I am going to do to is try my damnedest to write those 50,000 words next month!!!
So instead of doing the blog wrimo, I'm getting ready for NaNo which starts on November 1st. This year is the 8th year I will attempt to write 50,000 words in 30 days. I'm also going to try and participate in 3 Books in 3 Months. The goal is to write 3 short stories, flash fiction, or books in 3 months. It started a couple of days ago. I don't know what direction to take. I figure I'd have November covered with NaNo. But this month and December, I'm a bit stumped. I'm still not sure what to work on for NaNo either.
I spent the afternoon going through the forums for adoptable ideas. I found a few that would work with at least one of the plots rolling around in my head. I really need to make this happen!!!
I wrote earlier on my wordpress blog, how I was reading some old emails between my long lost friend and I...the one that I was trying to the writing exercise with. Now we're talking emails that are 4-6 years old!!! It goes back to when we first talked about writing and doing that exercise, to when we started it over. My GODS! I sounded so pathetic! Somehow reading what I was feeling at the time, all the bullshit of how god awful I am really hit me.
Not only did I read in those emails how good at writing he thought I was, but they also included me telling him about how my Beloved thought I was good at it. Which then reminded me of the one time I got the courage to share a piece to be critiqued by someone in a Fantasy Writing Yahoo group. And they too thought I was good, that I just needed to work on my "voice" and that I needed to do more showing instead of telling. So in the span of a couple of years, I had three different people tell me I was good. Yet I still let those damn gremlins tell me how much I suck!!! WTF is wrong with me? I mean seriously! SHIT! Wake the fuck up girlfriend!!! Another thing he told me was basically if I let the fear and doubt take control it will destroy my creativity. And ya know what? He's right!
Now does that mean the gremlins will STFU? Probably not! Will they be yapping away in the back of my head....kind of like they are right now? Hell yeah of course they will be. Will I listen? I'm gonna sure as hell try not too.
Well I know nothing at all about writing short stories or flash fiction, but I'm gonna learn and try my hand at it. I'm going to give NaNo my best effort next month!!! I'd say failure is not an option, but shit happens. No, I'm not setting myself up to fail already or saying I will, but what I am going to do to is try my damnedest to write those 50,000 words next month!!!
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