Had quite the dream last night, this morning...whenever it was. I wish I could recall more of it now than I do but I failed to write it down like I meant right after I woke up. I did manage to journal what I did remember of it this afternoon and then started looking up meanings and trying to identify the animal from the dream.
The first part of the dream that I remember was being inside a house of sort standing and looking out a large plate window. This window could not open and was just one solid piece of glass. I think my Beloved was standing behind me on the left. As I was looking out the window, my late Grandmother was sitting outside the window on something. I knew it was her by her dress and hair, but she never spoke nor turned around. I don't think she even moved the whole time. From the right, a wild cat of some sort started to prowl and approach her. I got scared and was trying to yell to her not to move, and hoped that the animal would just pass her by.
The wild cat, larger than a house cat by A LOT, but smaller than a tiger. It had the coloring of a tiger but had elongated spots. After much Googling and with help from a friend we narrowed it to most like being an Ocelot. Or an Ocelot mixed with another breed. But for the sake of simplicity, I went with the Ocelot.
In the dream the Ocelot came up to my late grandmother and opened its mouth around her entire face from scalp to chin. It stayed like that briefly, then moved away from her face and came around to her left side where it licked her cheek. All through this my grandmother never moved or spoke.
The next thing I remember is that I/we (my Beloved and I) were on a river bank. It was quite wide but the river was very low. So low I could see the rock bed and walk across it. Which I seemed to do as I also watched myself from the river bank. Part of me felt like I was trying to go on a trip to visit my aunt in Massachusetts, but I didn't know why since she has advanced dementia and doesn't recognize most of the family. It also felt like I was trying to get my girls to either come with me or come to me. The weirdest part though was feeling like the Ogre was some how hindering me or hindering things or both. I don't think he was actually in the dream, it was more like just his presence. I also don't recall if I actually saw my girls or it was just the thought of them.
From the river bank, I also recall seeing a dam with a waterfall.
I spent a better part of the early afternoon looking up the meanings of these key things the Ocelot, the River, the Dam, and the Waterfall. I also spent that time trying to shake off the feeling that the Ogre is trying to keep me from moving forward with my life and hindering me.
I've not had any contact with him in almost three years. The last I heard from my wee one many months ago was that he wanted nothing to do with me and told her that he wanted to divorce me. But to this day, I've heard nothing more and can find no court filings under our names.
I have some thoughts about what some of the dream might have meant and ideas that my friend and I concluded. I'll post those thoughts later this week after maybe some of you may have offered some insights.
I would welcome your thoughts on this.